Permutations
by aMUSEment345
Summary: One shot. Between 12X19 and 12X20. JJ wonders if they're on the right track with Reid's case, as they so desperately need to be. Almost titled, 'The Endless Hiatus'.


_**Permutations**_

One didn't have to be a profiler to recognize a brush-off. And JJ knew that was exactly what she'd received from Tara Lewis, when then they'd exchanged texts earlier in the evening.

 _There's something she doesn't want to tell me. He must have remembered something, and she doesn't…. oh...oh, no. Just…no._

If he'd remembered something, and Tara couldn't or wouldn't share it, it must be bad. _Really_ bad. As in, it implicated him in some way.

 _But not for murder! There is absolutely no way on God's earth that Spencer Reid would ever take a life that he didn't have to take! No way. None._

Not even an iota of doubt entered her mind. She knew him too well, knew his core, knew his soul, for that matter. And JJ was one hundred percent certain that even a drugged-out Reid could never bring himself to harm someone unnecessarily.

 _It isn't in him. It's in the rest of us, that's for sure. Most of us fight it back every day, that desire to explode at someone, to hand them their heads, to tell them off. But not Spence. Spence sees right past whatever offense they've committed, and peers right into the hurt that's inside of them, the thing that made them do it._

If he'd been someone other than who he was, she might have concluded that he empathized because he related. That he was able to forgive, and forget, because he'd committed the same offenses himself, and understood how easy it was to fall into temptation. But he _was_ who he was. And who he _was_ , was Spence. Her best friend. Her best, gentle, kind, friend, who was incarcerated for something he didn't do, for something he could never even conceive of doing. For something that someone _else_ did, someone who wanted the blame to fall on him.

 _Someone who wanted him to blame himself._

As soon as the thought occurred to her, she knew the truth of it. As painful as it was for Reid to be in prison, as painful as it was for him to be separated from his mother, and his team and his work, as painful as it was for him to have been accused of something so heinous…she knew, in an instant, that it would be far more painful to him to have to think of _himself_ as capable of the crime. For the person behind all of this, neither the physical harm to Reid, nor the emotional damage from his isolation, nor the damage to his reputation would be enough. The perpetrator of this disaster was looking to hurt her best friend on an existential level.

 _He wants Spence to question his own identity. He wants him to think he's someone other than who he is. He wants him to identify as the bad guy, when, all his life, he's been anything but_.

They'd all been assuming that the 'he' in question was Peter Lewis, aka Mr. Scratch. Certainly, the man had proven capable of implanting memories. Maybe he'd implanted this one.

But how? All of Scratch's victims to date had hallucinated on people important to them, people central to their lives. People, and relationships, that Scratch had been able to research. Nadie Ramos hadn't served that function in Reid's life, no matter that she'd provided the experimental medicine for Diana.

 _It would have made more sense for Scratch to give Spence a false memory about one of us, like he did with Hotch. Or about his mother…._

Which made her ponder on the irony. Because she knew Reid would have given _anything_ if the nightmare he'd been living through with his mother _had_ only been an implanted memory.

Some of Scratch's prior victims had hurt the ones they'd loved, some to the point of killing them, even in the act of trying to protect them. Some had hurt themselves. And some, like Hotch, had witnessed the murders of those they'd cared about. But Reid had 'witnessed' the murder of someone he'd barely known. He might have had an altruistic regret of her murder and death, but it wouldn't have hurt him in the same way that some of the other victims of Scratch had been hurt. So, if it was Scratch behind all of this, he had to be after something else.

 _So, all right, he's after Spence's integrity. Scratch wants Spence to have to think of himself as a killer. But….why? Why Spence? And why this particular thing?_

In profiler mode, JJ reviewed Scratch's relationship with the BAU. He'd gone after Hotch first, but that had been a crime of opportunity. Hotch had been the one closest to the scene when the case broke. But it could have been any of them.

 _He was prepared. He'd done his homework on the BAU, he knew any one of us would be devastated by the unnecessary loss of another._

With Tara, it had been different. She'd been targeted, specifically.

 _Or maybe not. Her brother had become vulnerable, and Scratch took advantage of that. Maybe it was just another crime of opportunity. But it told us he'd been watching the team again. Tara wasn't with us, when Scratch went after Hotch. The only way he could have known about her was by watching us again, after his escape._

Maybe the victimization of Reid had been another crime of opportunity. Maybe the situation with Diana, and the fact that Reid had isolated himself from the rest of the team, had set him up to be the next victim.

For what seemed like the thousandth time over the past few weeks, JJ felt wetness rush to her eyes. The word 'victim', used in reference to her best friend. And before that, the isolation he'd imposed upon himself, the solitariness of his quest to help his mother. And the fact that she knew that he'd done it so he wouldn't allow his own problems to intrude into what he saw as the busy personal lives of the others.

 _Like making lunches, and doing laundry, and washing dishes is more important than taking care of his mother. His crazy, demented, gloriously brilliant, mother_.

In spite of herself, and in spite of her apprehension about it, JJ had assumed a responsibility Reid had never asked her to take on. At first, it had been partly out of curiosity, and partly out of concern for her best friend, that JJ had visited Diana and Reid at his apartment. Those visits had all been mediated by Spence, who had initially been wary of introducing the two women to each other. Both women were important to him, and their opinions of one another important as well. Some of Diana's bad days could be really bad, and he'd worried about how such a bad day could influence the relationship between the two most important females in his life. But the meetings had gone as smoothly as anything in Diana's life ever did, which was to say they were awkward and a bit stilted, but non-violent. Several visits in, Diana had even managed to smile at JJ's pictures of Henry and Michael, and the two had bonded as mothers, and not just as the women who loved Spencer Reid.

Then, over a month ago, the shocking news of Reid's arrest, and the helplessness of not being permitted to go to his aid, had left JJ with nowhere to turn except in the direction of Diana. Her heart might have been with Spence in some godforsaken jail cell in Mexico, but her body had gone to his apartment, knowing it would put his mind at ease to think that his mother was being cared for as he would care for her. The first meeting without Reid had been an anxious one on both ends, and especially so considering the reason for it. JJ hadn't told Diana, then. But, eventually, she'd had to, once Reid had been remanded to prison until the time of his trial. The pain of making that revelation, and the pain of receiving it, had bonded the two women in a way that was hard to articulate.

 _Sort of a bunker mentality, I guess. We're in it together, for the sake of someone we both love._

Except that Diana's dual illnesses had meant JJ having to share the news, over and over again, on subsequent visits. In the process, she'd learned something about courage from the mother of her best friend, and she'd seen the origins of his own. Each time she'd told Diana, she'd told it in a different way. And, each time, she'd watched the woman recoil, and regroup, and come back from the news standing tall. Just as she watched her best friend do, time and again, each time life tried to beat him down. In the process, JJ had developed a deep respect for Diana Reid, and something akin to love.

But Diana had been able to withstand the onslaught of bad news for only so long. There came a day when she'd asked, as she had so many days before, where her son was. This time, before JJ could give the answer. Diana had supplied her own.

" _The beach", she'd said. "He must be at the beach."_

In the time he'd been in prison, JJ had missed her best friend acutely, but never more so than at that moment. She wasn't skilled in reading Diana, couldn't tell if her dementia had waxed, and caused her to genuinely forget….or if the woman was simply emotionally spent, and unable to live in the current reality.

 _I don't want to live in it, either, Diana._

In the end, there had been nothing to do but to go along, and pray that it was what Spence would have wanted. When he'd told her as much, she'd been relieved.

Caught up in the memory, JJ startled at the sensation of a hand touching her shoulder.

"Sorry, Cher. Didn't mean to scare you."

"You didn't. I just didn't hear you."

"What's got you so distracted tonight? Or….nah, nevermind. Same as always, right?"

Despite their best intentions otherwise, it had become a source of argument between them. When the news of Reid's dilemma had first broken, Will had done his best to be supportive of his wife. She'd been in shock at the sudden and unexpected turn of events, beside herself with worry, and frightened for Reid's mental, emotional and physical states. But when she'd compounded that by taking on the responsibility of Diana, Will had pushed back.

"JJ, you've got your own job to do, not to mention a family of your own to see to. I get he's your best friend, but _his_ mother is not _your_ mother. He can't ask you to take her on. It's too much."

She'd argued back to her husband. Reid hadn't asked anything of her. She was doing it of her own volition, because she _wanted_ to, because it was the only thing she _could_ do for him. But her argument had been wearing thin with the passage of time, and the lack of progress in Reid's case. It had begun to look more and more likely that the genius had been outwitted, and that his situation might not change for a very long while. Will LaMontagne was not about to lose his family, and their way of life, to it. And so, the arguments had continued, and heightened in tension.

Hoping to stave off yet another skirmish, JJ shifted the subject, if only slightly.

"I've been thinking about his _case_. Something….. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I'm getting this feeling…"

Equally glad not to have fallen back into the same distressing conversation, Will came around and took a seat next to his wife.

"Tell me. Maybe fresh ears will help."

So she recounted her uninformative texted exchange with Tara Lewis, and her conclusion that it meant Reid had recovered his missing memory, and that said memory must have been concerning enough for the psychologist not to share it.

"I think…..Will, I'm _afraid_ ….that he thinks he's done it. That Scratch somehow implanted that memory into his brain. It will kill him, to think that of himself."

From long practice, Will kept some of his thoughts to himself. He couldn't share his wife's certainty that Reid was incapable of any particular act, and especially when under the influence. But he respected her judgement enough to go along with the premise. At least they weren't arguing.

She went on to explain the differences between how Scratch had selected, and then tormented, his other victims, including those on the team.

"He's always tortured his victims by hurting the people they love. So I don't get why he didn't try to get to Spence with an implanted memory about his mom. Or the boys."

"Or you."

She flashed a sharp glance in Will's direction, but saw no challenge in his eyes. Just reality.

"Or me. I guess, the point is, why Nadie Ramos? Why would he think she was important?"

Will sat back and put his hands behind his head, his favorite 'thinking' position.

"Cher, why is everyone so sure this is Scratch? I mean, even the drugging….that wasn't quite his style, right?"

"Well….right, but we think the scopolamine just wasn't detected, because Spence had probably metabolized it."

"Didn't you say that Rossi had looked at the vents?"

JJ stared at her husband. "Yes. And he didn't find anything."

"So why are you all so sure there was ever any scopolamine involved?"

A flash of anger in JJ's eyes now. This was an argument they _hadn't_ had before. And she couldn't believe they were about to have it now.

"You're not saying you think Spence actually did it?! You're not saying you think he killed Nadie Ramos?!"

Will was quick to wave her down. "No, I'm not saying that. I'm not even saying he took the drugs on his own." Though they'd never found an entry point for them to have been given to him involuntarily. "I'm just saying that maybe you should be thinking about someone other than Scratch."

"But….who?"

"I don't know. Maybe…..look, Reid's been with the BAU for twelve years now, right? And you've put away how many serial killers? There's got to be one or two who might have it out for him."

That gave her pause. As hard as it was for JJ to think of Reid having an enemy, Will might be right. There might be someone…or two, or three, or four someones…. who blamed their capture and captivity on the genius who'd helped to stop them from killing.

"I…. maybe… I need to think."

Will knew she was dismissing him, and he was wise enough to let her. He stood, and squatted down in front of his wife.

"I know you need to help him. And I get it, he's a great guy, and the kids love him, and….and you love him, too. But, Cher, I can't lose my family to whatever he's gotten himself into. I'll back you up all the way, you know that. But we have to come out of this thing intact. If it turns out against him, you can't let him consume your life. Not with his own problems, and not with his mother."

Unhappiness showed in her features. She knew he was right. She couldn't live Reid's life for him, even if she felt like she'd been with him in misery for every one of these last forty-odd days. If things went against him, she would have to find a way to detach. But she hadn't a clue how to accomplish it. They'd become too deeply embedded in one another's hearts. To detach from him would be to detach from a piece of herself, and she couldn't conceive of either thing.

 _So, I'll just have to make sure it doesn't go against him. Which starts with thinking about who else might want to hurt him._

To her husband, still bent in front of her, she issued a promise.

"I won't let it hurt us. I can't let it go right now, and I'm so thankful that you're not asking me to. But I promise I won't let it hurt us. If I have to…" The long pause belying her hesitance. "….I'll let go."

Will's smile held regret. "No, you won't. But I guess I have to accept it. I knew when I married you that you only give your love away for a lifetime."

He leaned in for a kiss, returned with warmth and gratitude.

"I won't be long. Look in on the boys when you go up, okay?"

"I will. Take as long as you need. I'm not goin' nowhere." The words simple, the sentiment anything but.

Once she was alone again, JJ resumed the process.

 _Who might have specific anger against Spence? Or, maybe I should start with people who made Spence angry._ _There will be far fewer of them._

An image came to mind. Short, white-suited. Called himself Professor Rothschild.

 _What was his real name? What…oh, right. Henry Grace. He saw himself as a genius. Saw Spence as competition. And Spence was angry with him, I remember that. He was angry that someone with that level of giftedness would use it to hurt people_.

Which reminded her of another genius, a set of them, actually, one of whom had purposely drawn the attention of law enforcement by recreating some of the Zodiac murders. And he'd specifically targeted the BAU genius, challenging his intelligence. Reid had been angry that time, too.

 _And he was angry with the father of that poor, demented girl who'd tried to recreate the dolls from her childhood._

She'd overheard Rossi telling the story to Hotch on the plane. The BAU founder had been proud of his young colleague that day, both for having used his righteous indignation to unsettle their target, and for having reined it in enough not to explode in front of him.

 _Maybe the father….he was a psychiatrist, right? I think he only treated children, but the prisons wouldn't know that. Maybe he got in touch with one of the unsubs who also had it in for Spence._

Feeling a little like she was pulling at straws. So she began pulling again.

 _What about that kid with DID, the one from South Padre? Spence still visits him… or her, I guess…at that hospital every so often. Maybe…._

She would have to have Garcia look into Adam/Amanda's current status. And she would have to research the status of all of those other unsubs who'd been put away. Were they among those who'd been set free in 'The Storm', as they'd come to call it? Or had they somehow connected in prison with one of those who'd escaped? Had one criminal mastermind influenced another? Had they decided to work together?

The idea of working together reminded her of one other possibility. That ring of hitmen that had included the one hitwoman.

 _What about her? What about Cat Adams? She knows about Diana. She pulled that information out of him better than I did._

About which JJ had been more than a little bit peeved...and maybe jealous, at the time.

 _And she gave it to Spence almost as well as he gave it to her, parry for parry. She acted hurt, at the end, but she was angry that he'd outplayed her. And she did kind of threaten him, didn't she?_

The list was growing, and so was the complexity of the question.

 _So many permutations, as Spence would say. It could have been any of them, or some of them, or all of them. But how would they have known about his dilemma? How would they have even known he was in Mexico? He's my best friend, and I didn't know!_

Or could it still have been Scratch, acting alone, somehow, and for some reason, mutating his usual technique, and forcing Reid to attack his own ego. Or his id.

 _Could Scratch have learned something about Spence from one of the others? Someone like Cat? She seemed the best able to get under Spence's skin. She was the only one of them who seemed to realize that his intelligence is only the smallest part of him. His heart is so much bigger. Maybe she wants to break it. And maybe she recruited Scratch to help her._

That heart made it nearly impossible for JJ to conceive of anyone hating Reid enough to want to hurt him like this. But a little voice….one that sounded a lot like Spence's….told her that she was on the right track. It told her to look _into_ the hurt. Not just his, but theirs.

 _That's where the answer is. Someone is hurting enough to want to hurt back. Even if it's displaced toward Spence, we have to find the source of the hurt. We have to find the person who owns it._

 _It's the only way to help him._


End file.
